I Permit

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Ocean - Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash
Ocean - Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

I permit myself to be free – I want to experience all things without being held down and to face all things as they come and trust my decency to act accordingly.

I permit my courage to stand – I want to do what I believe to be right always. And not let what others think of my actions slow me down or stop me entirely.

I permit my inner creative to come out and play – For too long I’ve told myself to be realistic in and world that won’t give two shits about my existence when I’m gone. So it is time for realism to take a hike, and it is time to have some goddamn fun. Inner creative turned outer being.

I permit my mind to race – there is a difference between a mind in clutter and a mind unable to stop. Only one of those causes anxiety and the other keeps things interesting and full of surprises.

I permit my fear to leave – too many things to do. Not enough time to be a coward. They say that without fear you would not have courage and therefore nothing worth doing. I disagree. Without fear there would be discovery and knowledge. The universe is too big to allow ourselves to believe in the courage to live as the end game. Boo hoo. Discovery is what humanity lives for. Otherwise, what purpose does a curios mind serve?

I permit myself to ask all questions – this is the basis of all discovery. Too many things are taken for what they seem and they are never questioned. And therefore they never improve. If it is what it is, and what is the point of any of it?

I permit my logic to rise above my need to emotionally react – we are the measure of what we have learnt. Emotional reactions are tantrums unchecked. Logic is the knowledge gained allowing informed decisions. And therefore allows one to feel the best emotion possible, contentment. There is nothing like feeling content with all that you have. Excitement is fun. So is love. But they are nothing without boredom or heartbreak. Contentment allows you to simply be and logic helps attain that.

I permit myself to give a shit – no story behind this one. I’m just actually good at it. And I know it makes people feel awesome, and so I continue.

I permit myself to not give a shit – you can only bang your face into a wall so many times. How long must a person continue doing the same things and expect a different result? Sometimes not giving a shit is the only way to give a shit. Without the act of not caring as a catalyst, what was meant to be may never happen.

I permit myself to be thankful – I’ve always wanted more then I ever appreciated. Three decades in a world of materialistic existence will teach you that none of that is worth it. None of that will fulfil you. That it won’t make you whole. But seeing what it is that you do have? Seeing how much life could have been worse had you not had what you have whilst you were looking for more? That will put you in your place.

I permit my humility to take point – there is nothing special about this. I just know how it feels to realise I had been on the complete opposite end. To try and compete with everything just to be something. Something no one cared about. And not even achieving that something, only thinking that I had. Arrogance is a tripwire. What comes next I guarantee you won’t like.

I permit myself to permit – too long have I thought that we are under the control of the environment we are in. I’m done playing that game. My life is what I make of it. It belongs to me and it will never be driven by another. My time belongs to me. Therefore I allow myself to assume command and take over.

I permit this collection of lessons learnt to save all who read it a world of pain and disappointment. Including the act of permitting. Allow yourself to be what you always thought yourself to be. Let nothing hold you and stop you. Let nothing veer you off course.

Permit yourself to rise and be better, and I will do the same.

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