Restart Once

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Restart - Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash
Restart - Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash

Imagine being able to restart and begin fresh knowing everything you know right now. Same personality, same face, same person except for this time no one knows the mistakes you’ve made. No one knows the annoying habits you have except you. And no one has the history of you except you so that others aren’t able to look down on you in any way. You’re able to leave all negatives behind to a different name, location and time.

Also, imagine that this doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. Starting over means missing the good times that you have had. Because it may mean you aren’t around the same people anymore to re-create more similar good times. It means that for whatever reason you are having to start over ends up outweighing those good times and it means the restart is necessary and sometimes that alone isn’t easy to deal with.

Relationships are going to have to be built. Or for that matter, if you do decide to stay in touch with certain people, those relationships will have to be rebuilt with the added stress of who you chose to do that with. It will not be easy at all. And it becomes particularly more difficult if you are the type of person who can’t handle being by yourself.

During the restart, you will tend to bring every bad experience you ever have with you in order to be able to make more careful decisions. Oh, did you think that you were done with those bad times? No. Hells to the no. Because otherwise, you would have never wanted to restart in the first place if it didn’t matter that much. But what is the point of doing that, if you’re just going to make the same mistakes again? Watch yourself, however. This can cause you to end up being too careful, and it can work against you.

Everyone should restart their lives at least once. You’re only growing up in one linear timeline. You don’t get to jump back and do it all again. But at the same time, you never lose the lessons you’ve learned either. But you could always lose the things that would be better left to the past so that your future can be better.

Once you have restarted, it should repeat as little as possible. Restarting once is fine because it means you have learned a great deal in order to create a better life. But this also takes time. And most of us will never have enough time to restart, again and again, otherwise, you’ve spent your whole life trying to be alive, when it should be spent living. It means you’ll never develop an inner circle of friends that hold each other up. And it means you never reach most of your goals because you’ve spent all the time and energy restarting.

Restarting can not only have adverse effects on your life due to time, but it can also cause emotional damage. You tend to become extremely detached to most things because nothing has been stable enough in life to stick around. So you’ll never hold onto anything for the fear of it just being gone. And not only that, it can become apparent in your decision making as well. You’ll tend to make decisions always calculating ahead to see if something is going to turn into something meaningful, and whether you want that or not because you might be somewhere else in the future.

Yes, everyone has to move from time to time, and everyone has to start over, and everyone has to learn to grow a new. And it can happen multiple times if that is just the situation people end up in. But by choice? That can only happen once in order for it to be a good thing. Any more then that and it can start to go bad. And yes, no one should be afraid to make new connections and learn to love new things because change is good! Travel, see the world and talk to someone new every week! But always have a place you can come back to call home. Because without that, no matter how good things are, it will always feel like nothing.

Starting over can be good as long as it is done right and only once. Remember why you restarted. Especially if restarting was a choice and not something you had to do. Don’t falter and become lazy and fall back into old patterns, most of all if restarting had anything to do with you becoming a better version of yourself due to having screwed up so badly you weren’t able to outgrow that shadow.

If you’re going to spend that much heart and energy into restarting, make sure it is for something a whole lot better.

For the record, I’ve had to restart 12 times. The 12th time, was by choice. Yeah, I’m not even human. Mostly just pre-programmed responses from TV series and horribly punny jokes.

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