After disappearing for the month of March, I’ve learnt a few things. For one thing, it is okay to go dark for a small while. As long as going dark is for recovering and realigning, and not from running because everything became too hard.
After a thorough self-assessment, I discovered that I had once again, stretched myself too thin, sticking a finger in every pie I could find that excited me during a time when my love for being free was at its highest. Oddly enough, it caused me to feel confined again to the things I promised I would do and failed to adhere to.
My love for photography is still strong, as is my love for writing. But I began doing too much and it did in fact burn me out. Though it was not for the reason you think. You see during this time I had also began doing more to help people around me. I also took on more hours at work. Basically, the part I veered of course that I shouldn’t have, was to constantly create time for myself.
I love the work I do, and how much of it I do at a time. That part never burns me out. It is then not having enough time for doing other things that don’t involve work, which ended up being taken up by other things that weren’t work, but also things I didn’t enjoy.
So what I ended up doing was going back to an email I got after the most important phone call of my life, and re-read it. Re-inspired myself. Reminded myself of why I was here doing what I was doing.
And just like that, I began writing again. I began taking more photos! Although the taking photos part never stopped, I stopped uploading, and stopped sharing.
I vowed never to do posts like this, because posts like this make this blog feel more like a diary. And if I were ever to write a diary, it would be filled with self loathing and pointlessness. Of which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. Venting is good. But for me personally? It is a tactic I employ in order to prevent a spiral. Something my brain has become addicted to after being in one for years.
Instead, I wanted to ensure that I could pass something along.
MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.
It is the best thing you can ever do, because after that? Everything else will fall into place.